I’m Leaning in and the Magic is Happening
“I’m realizing that I don’t have to take on the weight of what people put on me.”
Leanne returns for our second of three podcast episodes. If you missed her first episode, she powerfully shared about a long journey of trying to process what happened for her as a black teacher at Sandy Hook 13 years ago.
If you haven’t heard Leanne’s first constellation session, I encourage you to listen to that first. We’re sharing her 3-part constellation work series with a bonus process on the podcast so you can follow along in the journey.
Her experience was very powerful, and after the call, we did a bonus process, a distance (virtual) Taoist Stone Medicine Soul Retrieval Ritual & Ceremony.
In today’s episode, you’ll hear much of what has unfolded for her since that ritual and ceremony. A theme you’ll notice quite quickly is that the totality and the wholeness and the complexity of how she’s receiving this forward movement is so sacred. It's almost too profound to share with words.
You’ll especially want to tune into this client session if you, too:
» are committed to living in your fullness and wholeness
» want to do the healing work so your kids don’t have to
» have a growing connection with nature and birds
» feel it deeply when something is taken from you
» feel or have been called cuckoo
Topics covered in this podcast episode:
What’s unfolded for Leanne since her last session with Amy
What kind of spiritual and energetic messages Leanne has been receiving
If you can still receive medicine by listening to your past sessions
The meanings behind different birds and signs in nature
How constellators are able to not absorb trauma dumps from clients
How alchemical constellation work differs from traditional therapy and traditional family constellations work
Patterns Leanne is noticing in her own sessions with clients
The types of miracles and magic that’s possible with constellation work
How clients are able to go from deep pain to experiencing magic unfold
How Amy made the transition from psychotherapy to constellation work
How to know what type of session or support you need
What I know to be true about this work is that if more people knew this was available, the world would be miraculously different.
It’s my hope that by hearing this candid conversation that you find medicine in the words spoken and the energy exchanged.
And that if you’re feeling the pull to experience something you have no words for, I welcome you to reach out to me. (If you’re feeling unsure about what type of support or session is best for you, know that it’s one of my superpowers to identify that quickly.)
I’m so grateful to Leanne and you for joining us for this second episode! I send you the infinite possibilities that are available as you allow support for you to step into your wholeness.
To book your own 3-session constellation process, explore the Alchemical Constellation Gateway here.
If you’re unsure where to begin, sign up for a free Consultation Call. And if this episode resonates, please leave a review on your favorite platform and share this episode with those who you think might benefit.
Until we meet again, sending you blessings from the Doeg land that I steward.
Resources:
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté
Related Episodes:
Mercy That is Not Deserved and Grace That Isn’t Earned With Sandy Hook (Leanne session 1)
Connect with Amy:
The unedited podcast transcript for this episode of The Soulful Visionary Podcast follows
Amy Babish:
Have you ever felt like there's something more just waiting to be unlocked in your life? Like no matter how much you've accomplished, a deeper potential is calling. Welcome to the Soulful Visionary Podcast, where I guide you to align with your authentic self and create a life of purpose, love, and lasting impact. A life where you can truly soar beyond what your mind can comprehend. I'm your host, Amy Babish, a licensed psychotherapist and an expert in somatic coaching, feng shui, and wisdom traditions. With over 20 years of experience guiding thousands of clients through soul level transformation. Each week we'll dive into potent practices, live client sessions, and insightful conversations to help you dissolve intergenerational patterns and transcend your upper limits so that you can live the big life you are meant to live. Tune in and let's unlock your inner wisdom together.
Amy Babish:
Welcome to the Soulful Visionary Podcast. I'm your host, Amy Babish, and I am welcoming in Leanne for our second of three podcast episodes. And just to catch everybody up, if you missed her first episode, she powerfully shares about a long process of trying to process what happened for her as a black teacher at Sandy Hook. Her experience was very powerful. It was a very powerful process for her. And we did a constellation that was a constellation without doing it the way that we're used to doing it, but it was a constellation. So since we've met, Leanne and I processed what we were going to do for the three podcast episodes. So with Leanne in between our last podcast and this podcast, I offered her a remote session that means virtually of Taoist stone medicine, and we did a Taoist stone medicine soul retrieval process.
Amy Babish:
So, Leanne, welcome back in. And I'd love for you to share how it has been since the soul retrieval process.
Leanne:
Well, thanks for having me back. Oh, my gosh, thank you. I think it's if words could. Could. If there were words, and if thank you could be enough, then thank you in all the parts of what thank you could mean in any form, shape, or. Yeah, just thank you for this, for being sensitive enough and being agreeable enough with your spirit and to hear your spirit to offer this to me, my deepest vow to you. I said, wow, who knows? It is about thank you to you, your ancestors, your spirit guides. Just thank you.
Leanne:
This movement, this shift has been so meaningful in many ways. Like listening back. I don't know if I should. Let me just say that it's been very healing and a lot has happened. I mean, I'm talking a lot has happened since the session and then when it was posted and I. And I listened to it, a lot has happened even after that. And a lot has happened even after that. So can't wait to get into it.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, so. So, you know, so many people that come to me, they are seeking something that is quite profound, and they don't have words for it. Like, they've tried many different things. And you. You and I are similar in that way. Could you talk about what has been shifting for you since, you know, it's been a long journey of contact since November, but since we actually started the podcast and then the soul retrieval, what would you say is shifting for you? So I can kind of get a flavor?
Leanne:
Yeah. Okay. Like, earth shattering shifts and it might sound like, oh, my gosh, could it be. Is. Is it. Is it possible that the. The entire earth shattering. Like, could it be that true? And it is true.
Leanne:
So I noticed even from. So let me start from the. The first episode, before we even did the soul retrieval, as I was listening to it, like, and. And you. You named it quite well, that I. It was a process, right? It was like a lot of incoming. And when I first started listening to it, I remember before I even listened to the whole thing, I sent you a message and I was like, listen, I don't know what's going on. But, like, I.
Leanne:
I know that I'm rambling, which I'm okay with my part, because I usually ramble, but I'm also. I was very aware of, like, the glitches in the. In the. In the entire video, and it would. It would glitch every time I said, I. I called in someone else's field. And for me, and then I think I called you and I was like, listen, like, I don't know. But it's like this field so want to be, you know, being.
Leanne:
Doing this work as well. It's like I'm very. And that's something that I'm very. That's kind of like at the deepest core of my intention with this work is to uphold people's integrity and also share and acknowledge what needs to be acknowledged, what wants to come through and what doesn't want to come through. To be respectful. I just want to be respectful. And I. I remember sending a message.
Leanne:
It's like, you know, like, it seems like every time it would glitch, like, it would really glitch through. I. I wasn't even making any sense, you know, and. And I. I was like, those fields. I felt it so deeply that those people's fields didn't want to be on the, the, the podcast. But then, so when I sent you the message, I was like, I don't know, maybe you should tune into that and see if we're in on the same level. And I think you responded with such grace and such kindness and such.
Leanne:
Yeah, there's like a lot of grace in your response. And I, I took a step back and I was like. And then right at the same time, working on the side with what we're working with, I was also dealing with that part of me that is like the so self erasure where it's kind of like I, I would twist my. And contort myself into different shapes of balls to, to make people feel comfortable while I, I like and people take from me. And I, you know, I've been receiving a lot of like. And here's another thing that might be like, oh my gosh, she's cuckoo. But, but I'm okay with it. I've been, I've been experiencing a lot of birds.
Leanne:
It's been so beautiful to watch the birds and the messages they bring when they bring it in the exact moment, like literally talking to them and they're responding to me like I just talked to my dog who is now knocked out sleeping. And to actually believe that that's kind of true, that like I could really like commute like this, this a connection down that I've been seeking, that I've always known, but I didn't remember right. So there was a bird that came in and I didn't know that bird. So I googled, I took a picture of it and I googled. It's called a cowbird. And it's. And the idea of what the cowbirds do is that they lurk around and they look for nests that are not theirs. They wouldn't build their own nest.
Leanne:
And if there is a mother nest, if there's a nest that they would, they would lay their eggs there and kind of watch the bird, the, the, the male bird watches the, the, the eggs and the other mother's bird to make sure that like that mother bird comes to, the other bird comes to tend to her eggs. And sometimes the eggs, the birds don't know that they're tending that bag. So they take care of the, the, the eggs like it's theirs. And then, and then when it's time to hatch, like sometimes they don't notice even after that they would feed the birds. And then it's when maybe the birds are getting bigger than the other bird or like, you know, One of this is not like the others. Then they realize it, but at that time, taking care of the bird the entire time. But here's the thing though. The cowbird somehow in the egg, right? Let's talk about epigenetics.
Leanne:
Now, in the egg, there is a transfer of something that when that time comes, the bird can hear the call. They have a special call that will reconnect them to their. Their parent bird, right? So basically giving someone else's. Someone else the, the work to do. And then when it's time, like the person has done the work, you fly away, right? And you go meet your. And you go enjoy your abundance. Someone else has done it for you. When I tell you that was so like.
Leanne:
And this only happened after, like, that was so eye opening to me because I don't know if I said it earlier, but there was a bird. Remember when we first met in November, when we came back, two days after we came back, I found a bird. Me and some other people, I think two other people found dead birds right outside our door. And I kind of like read what it meant and, and that troubled me for a while. But after this movement and the soul and with this bird activity, I was actually cleaning my house the other day, the front porch of my house, because I was expecting somebody like part of this movement to come in, which is a whole nother magical story. Like, I don't even know how to explain it, but I looked up, something just said looked up, and there was a bird nest. There was a bird nest on my front door. Like, it's still there.
Leanne:
I check on it every day. It's right there. And later that afternoon, just walking around my house, just kind of learning, like just in this healing movement since we spoke, there are different birds that come with different significant profound meaning from what we did with this so retrieval that is saying, hey, like, stop erasing yourself. You've been given, you've been given, you were born to, like your, your birth, your coming and your even sustenance and you being kept alive even with the soul, like leaving after, like on the day of the Sandy Hook shooting and, and then not being able to return. And what you shared with me about that was kind of like so profound in the sense that the birds, it took the birds, it took the birds to kind of explain it to me in different ways. Like, different birds would show up and I'll just look at the meaning. Literally would show up all the way to my window, like, to my window. And I'm like, okay, now I need to Look.
Leanne:
And there were birds that would come, and I couldn't take a picture. And I would ask them. I'll say, okay, if I. If I don't take a picture, because maybe this is just for me. Would you come closer? I kid you not. I put my phone down, and if, like, it was. It's, like, magical. And there's a bird right now that, like, literally.
Leanne:
Eye contact. I made eye contact with this bird, and he's still his. Her eggs are, like, right there, and I've been watching her. And then there's a sparrow on top. Like, all of this, like, it's like. Which goes back to November, right when we met. And there was a song that I was like, God, if you're really in this thing, can you. Can you please.
Leanne:
Can you show me that you're here? It's not even coincidence that you have a picture of a mountain behind you, which I talked about. Right. That is kind of like. Yeah, like you're being led into this thing. So I've been feeling very good about all of that. And then we did the soul retrieval, which. That's also very interesting. And a lot got upended again, and I think.
Leanne:
So this much I'm going to share because the other pieces are, like, quite magical that I, like, I'm still. I believe it, but I'm. I'm still, like, wow. By it first before I can even express it in words. But. Yeah, so. But the soul ritual piece is the one where, like, I was reporting to you kind of, like, what came up for me while I was in the. And that state.
Leanne:
And it was this Hindu. The Hindu God piece. The one that's the elephant with the trunk.
Amy Babish:
Yes.
Leanne:
That I said I needed. I was very Ganesha, but I was very thirsty. And. And literally when I was. This is after we talked about it after. But. And while I was in the moment, something said, like, open your mouth, though, so thirsty, and put water in my tongue. Like, like, gave me water.
Leanne:
That was very profound. And. And so I. I took that in, and I've kind of been with it. Like, I'm just flowing with whatever it is that is coming. But then that started connecting me to. To other deities that I never, like, I didn't even know about. Right.
Leanne:
I was taking out a lot of garbage, and I. And there was, like, a coin on the floor. And I think it was. I thought that I spent all the money that I had because I was at the bookstore in the airport, and I literally emptied out everything because I wanted to spend all the money but it was a coin that was outside on the floor. It had dropped and I was cleaning and on the coin, it was a South African coin. I turned the back of it and there's like a, there, there's an image and it's like, is my aunt and she's, she's a deity from Egypt. When I tell you, I don't know if I told you when I was going to Menla, like they told us to grab a bunch of stuff. I didn't think about it, I just grabbed a bunch of stuff.
Leanne:
But literally I picked up this rock, Alabasta, that's shaped like a pyramid. It was very profound in, in the experience and where, where we were. But I picked it up and I took it with me, not knowing the significance of it. And all of a sudden I see this mat shape on the coin and I still, I couldn't, I still couldn't connect it. I was like, what is it? And just like magically things just fell into place and her name came up. I think I was looking at something about shadow work with Carl Jung. And so I, I couldn't tell you. And, and I, I, and her name came up and I was like, well, what Gladys is this? Or whatever.
Leanne:
And they're like, Egypt. I'm like, well, but what is that? And I'm like, I'm looking at it and everything. The feather, the feather that I found randomly. Do you and, and everything. I, I got this still from Goodwill. Like I have no idea. But something just said buy it lately. And I bought it.
Leanne:
And all of a sudden to be reading about Maat and to read that like, she is, you know, she was the goddess in Egypt. She was the goddess of truth, justice, balance, order. You know, I never met you, never heard anything about you. Never, like, never, you know, so in, and so, so I, I, I was like, okay, I need to read more about it and come to find out that in South African calendar year, this is they getting ready for their new year, right? And this is the season they're preparing for her hers. Her season, right? Like the new year where like you there are 42 lords of mad, which were according to what I'm reading. So don't crucify me if I got it wrong. I'm not trying to argue with anyone, just reading the historical text. But according to, that's what was the, the Bible Ten Commandments.
Leanne:
I'm very Christian, as you know, I'm sure, but those are what the, the, the Ten Commandments were pulled from. And I was like, and what is weighed and. And how I've been feeling in connection to this work and where I belong and where like the ancestral field. The feelings that I feel like I feel so deeply. The. The souls of those who already departed. And like, that's so present for me. And now it makes sense because she is the one who holds like, do you get to come back or do you get to.
Leanne:
Do you get to kind of go in peace? Right. If there's something left that you didn't complete and the laws, like, then we. We're gonna have to keep you looking at it. And if you, you know, you know, my experiences, like I'm us constantly saying, can we acknowledge. Can we come back and acknowledge like we're not. We can't move on. Can we come back? So all of that experience has been very like. Like now I'm just kind of letting things like really just sit in.
Leanne:
But I'm gonna fast forward because there's a lot more. I could go on for days. But I'm gonna fast forward to yesterday.
Amy Babish:
Yes.
Leanne:
Oh my gosh. We're gonna. Oh, you could get enough material for at least 10, 15 episodes if I were to share this with you, like in how every day, like the. The magic, even in the. The angel numbers and what they mean. And it's just like incredibly magical since the soul ritual. But I just said that and it's like profound. So I'm just going to share by yesterday.
Leanne:
So, you know, like in this deep connection to. To the birds, I put a bird feeder, the mockingbird, the. Their nectar. And I've been waiting for the bird, the mockingbirds, because I just really want to see them. And Saturday, I think other. The bees come and they kind of feed on it. Like people tap on the thing and it pours. The bigger birds are there.
Leanne:
So I didn't see. But Saturday I saw a mockingbird. Not hummingbird. Sorry, a hummingbird come to the. To the feeder. But it was empty. So I was like, oh, went back to the cowbird. Right.
Leanne:
It's kind of like when I'm ready, when. When it's my. When it's my turn to see my. The beauty of the abundance of what I've offered. It's gone because it's been given away. And I keep remembering about the endless supply that I've been so depleted. And you said I've been given like a one chance grace to. To have another.
Leanne:
Right. And it won't be replenished anymore. So I'm very aware of that. And so I was like, so just Tuesday, I was sitting with a lot of things, and I saw a hummingbird come to the feeder, but it flew away. But it came at a moment I was having a conversation about something that wouldn't. That didn't sit right with me from. That was talked about about, like, how many people who was allowed in and who wasn't allowed. And that really, like, I was like, well, maybe the part of me that I'm struggling with in this class is the part that was not allowed.
Leanne:
And. And. And so it's hard for me to fully be here and to trust that I'm. It's okay for me to be here when every time I make. Literally I checked it, every time I say I'm going to be in a space, I make an appointment for it. Something happens in the field, and I'm like. It gets like, crazy. So I've stopped announcing my arrival, and I show up because something just keeps telling me, stop erasing yourself to make other people comfortable.
Leanne:
So I saw the market at the. The hummingbird, and I wanted it to come back in explanation of kind of what was going through. And it didn't come back. And then my husband comes back and he says, well, we're gonna do the solar panels and we're gonna take all these trees down. And I was, aha. I just created a sanctuary for them. So they were like, well, this one is dead. This one's.
Leanne:
That. This one's dead. This one's dead. So I said, well, this one's not dead. And it's like, well, we're gonna cut it down anyway. And I said, we're not gonna cut it down. I said, well, you can take the branches off the top if it's affected the sun, but we're not taking it down. And something was like, stand your ground on that.
Leanne:
So I said what? I said, and I walked away. I don't know what they discussed, but I think the guy cut out a tree. Maybe he felt some kind of energy. And he must have talked to my husband. And I heard him. I heard saying. He was saying something about. I don't know what he said.
Leanne:
And then my husband comes to me and he said, well, okay, we're gonna take the trees down. We're not gonna take that one down. We're gonna try. And I just looked at him and I said, thank you. And I walked away. So they came and I could hear. So my experiences was like, when they were taking the trees down, like, it felt like something was, like, in my body, somebody was taken, like. Like, you know, Like, I really felt it visually, and I felt this rage, but there's also grief.
Leanne:
And, like, it was really visceral for me. And something just said, go get water. You're. You need to be resourced, but you need to release this. So I went and I got in the shower and. And I. I don't think I've ever let out that, like, guttural. Like, just this.
Leanne:
And I know I've been feeling it, but I was like, where does it go? Like, where do I scream it out? And how do I scream it? Like, where should I go to scream it out? Right? Like. But I know it's sitting there and I've been holding it, so I. I screamed this deep, heavy. And I came out of the shower. It still wasn't enough. And I'm like, look, I'm like, Like, really? And it felt good after. It really felt good after, but I still felt this, the grief. So that's when I reached out to you and I said, I don't know what's going on, but this is what I'm feeling.
Leanne:
And I don't even know if we're going to be able to meet today because I'm surprised that up till this moment, they haven't turned off the power yet. They said they were going to and doing. But when you. When I received your message, I have a picture of my maternal grandpa. It just fell on the floor. Right. And I, like, lately I've been looking at that picture, and I don't know if I shared that my grandparents, the dad, the male part there were orphans.
Amy Babish:
You have? Yeah.
Leanne:
Yeah. Okay. So, yeah. And what you shared with me was about, like, displacement and lost people. Like, people who lost. Like, you know, and. And then his picture fell, and I was like. And I picked it up, and all of a sudden, like, I felt like that feeling was his.
Leanne:
And I. And I feel so deeply also with my. With my husband. Like, I. I tell them all the time, I'm like, you don't understand. Like, when they take my stuff, I don't care what it is. Like, if I didn't tell you to trash it, please don't trash it. Because, like.
Leanne:
Like, I have been trying to explain to them that it's like, for me, it does something. It does something to my. You know, it's hard to explain. Even for me, it's hard to explain. I just feel some. Something. And they might look at me and be like, well, but it's trash. And I'm like, no.
Leanne:
Like, there's something. It's not Trash, you know. And so somehow I did the constellation and I did an altar and I. And I turned it and it just like I. It did the thing and it landed on this grandpa. And you know, for the first time, I kind of really looked at him. He's very quiet. He was very quiet.
Leanne:
But I looked into his eyes, I put myself there. And all of a sudden the resource for St. Anthony that I've. That. That just fell on some Anthony Padua and the lost souls and finding lost people all of a sudden just made sense that that's what wanted to be re. I like his healing is like he. He needed to be resourced in this way. And all of a sudden the candle felt right.
Leanne:
That like this is what I've been holding to. To for you in grief. And I keep ignoring you because I keep. Like I've twisted it in so many ways of moving. Oh, well, you're not recording all this.
Amy Babish:
While I recorded and then I paused it because I lost you. I was like, oh, maybe we lost power. And then when I came back, it fast forward.
Leanne:
It's.
Amy Babish:
So we're going to trust. Your field is so specific. We're going to trust.
Leanne:
We're going to trust. Yeah. I'm trusting right now because I was like, did you not record all of that? I'm just trusting. But it felt really, really good to now give him back, but also to tell him, I hold you deeply, I carry this for you in my heart. But at the same time, because of that, I'm also losing my own forward movement that can actually heal not only what you're worried about losing, which again, last week, that was the worry, right? I was just gonna forget. And I did this whole schedule, but I put grandmas, I didn't put him, I didn't put any of the grandpas. I didn't give them a day. And now it makes sense that it's like the movement was like.
Leanne:
For me, it's not just women or like children. There's also everybody. The. For me, it's just everyone as a place. And it felt really, really, really profound. But the most beautiful thing that happened after I finished that and I got that clarity, I walked outside and I have the pieces here. And I found these pieces of the wood that were chipped one from the cut tree. And I walked around and I saw, you know how when they put the wood because we didn't save it for firewood, and I said I was going to ask my husband to move them.
Leanne:
I'm going to do a little cabana outside Facing the woods. And I'm going to just move them and make them tables so that I can utilize them and bring them with me. I'm going to put the pieces on my altar. But I was thinking that, as I was thinking that and the thought was coming through. A hummingbird for the first time blew to the feeder. And in that moment I was like, it's always been worth it. And now more than ever, rather than stop, because I kept feeling like I need to stop. I need to kind of move on with my life.
Leanne:
I need to. I need to drop this craziness or whatever that I'm like, everybody thinks I'm crazy. I was like, I'm gonna do this. And it makes sense to do this because I'm looking at not only the present, but I'm also looking at the future. I don't want to drop this off for my kids. I don't want them to have to pick it up. I might be comfortable if I drop it now, but I'm dropping it for them to pick up. And for me, even.
Leanne:
This is where I say, even if it cost me my life, I'm gonna do the work so they don't have to. And it feels so worth it right now. Oh, also to say I've been on medication for ADHD and I've been all year. So this is another self disclosure. Oh, yeah. I've been telling myself I need to get off this medication. Like I said, like, oh, I needed to win myself off of it because I, I was like, like, there's something about my clarity that like, needs to be kind of like. And somehow my doctor refilled my medication and refilled only half a month and I.
Leanne:
This has happened in the past, kid. You're not literally. I do have the medication and I do. I typically have extra. I usually have like weeks and weeks extra supply. But it's been happening in the past that like, by the time I, like, I, I never am completely out. But somehow because they. They refill just half a month since last week, I think.
Leanne:
Yeah, last week I've had. I've. I've used up my extra. I've been calling right before this call. I called them to see if still, like, there's so much confusion on just. It's just a signature. It's just a signature. The doctor needs to, to do this thing to like, they've been writing urgent notes for her every day.
Leanne:
So this entire week in this madness. There's something about my field that is like, you're gonna do this without a medication. So, you know, you, you. And I'm not trying to advocate for anybody to get off medication. That's not what I'm trying to do. But I'm trying to say that sometimes, like, in order not to feel, it's easier to kind of like. And, and it makes sense because in the world that we live in, when you feel this deeply and this royally and you express it, I mean, I experience it every day. It's kind of like, what is wrong with you? Like, you're crazy, you're cuckoo.
Leanne:
You're all, you know, all the words. Like, you're, you're mentally. Like, do we need to recall in an ambulance to sent you to the hospital right now? And just kind of allowing myself to be like, well, you can say whatever you need to say. I know. I know what is going on within me. I know what's happening. I know what's shifting. I know what's changing.
Leanne:
I know what's, like, how I'm feeling and that deep connection that I have to. That my, like, the commitment to, like, this wholeness. I'm willing to take whatever kind of thing comes in outside of me. And because of that, I think I'm getting even more clearer on what my purpose is, even without the, the medication, because I need to be able to feel all of the shadows within me so I can bring them to light and work on them and really live the fullness of my intention.
Amy Babish:
So that's just, you know, just. Just a snapshot of where you've been. And I don't do Leanne and I can see each other on video, but my podcast is only audio and just to just reflect. I hope you see this in yourself. You have so much of your essence back. Your light is back. Do you see that in your eyes? Do you feel that in your body?
Leanne:
Yes.
Amy Babish:
You were, you were a very vibrant person when I first met you in November. But I feel like you are, like, so arriving in a way that is. You've always been connected, but you, you feel like. More like. It feels like the reciprocity is there, especially when you talk about the birds. And I love, you know, not, not to, not to make light of anybody who's been called crazy, because that is very shaming. But when you said cuckoo, I was like, oh, that's because you're. To the birds.
Leanne:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And I know that you have your own research, but I'm going to say this for the listeners. When I studied with a Peruvian cuero, which is the word, their word for shaman in The Andes. Her name is Wilma of the Andes. She's alive. You can find her on Instagram and Facebook. She's wonderful. She shared with us that the hummingbirds are ancestors. And so it feels to me that the hummingbirds are coming with the sweetness for you now.
Amy Babish:
The ancestors are coming with this. And also, you know, hummingbirds are tiny in the big scheme of things, but they're so mighty. They travel hundreds of thousands of miles and they have such efficiency. But from the outside looking in, they look like they're kind of scattered. Like they go zip here, zip there, zip everywhere. Reflection of. There's. There's so much magic and meaning to the way that your way is.
Amy Babish:
And it might be confusing to other people from the outside looking in, but you're learning to trust that there is, like, a divine pattern. There's a divine blueprint, there's a divine design to how you do it. And it's your way. The ancestors know it. Some human beings on this plane know it. And I. I do feel like your kids know this, your land knows this, the plants know this, the animals know this. But I also feel like your clients, the ones that haven't come yet, they know this too.
Leanne:
Yeah, I feel that. Yeah, I feel that on. I have a client fire me yesterday, and the old me would have been like, oh, my gosh, like, how can I? And I, you know, and I think. I think that she was trying to tell me that I did a psychic reading. I was doing psychic reading. And I told her, I don't even know what that is, but I, like, I really was trying to work with you in terms of your intention. And. And she.
Leanne:
She said no, I didn't listen to her. And then she said. She said, I need a therapist who. Who will. Who. You know. How. Well, sometimes when clients are not happy with you, they.
Leanne:
They tell you that. They tell you that you're not doing. You're not doing the therapist work the way they expect them expect you to do it, right? Like. Like they know how it's supposed to be done. But, like, the old me would have been like, well, then why are you in therapy? But. But I was like, I was like, well, if you know how to do it. But I didn't. I didn't.
Leanne:
Like, actually, it was really. For me, it was part of the healing movement because all I could offer was like, a lot of grace and compassion and saying, like, yeah, like, I. I really agree with you that, like, maybe, like, it. We don't have to, like, the way I do. It doesn't have to be like exactly the way that you need it. And, and I understand that. And I'm, and I, and I do tell clients all the time. She said, I didn't tell her until last week, but I did.
Leanne:
I, this is something I always say. I'm not for everybody and I'm not for, like, I'm not for everybody. And, and, and I don't even schedule follow up sessions for clients. I tell them to take whatever we did in the first session and think about it. If they call me back and they say, hey, like, I really like what we did. I would like to come back and I would want a little more of this. My doors are open. I tell people and you can even leave pissed off.
Leanne:
I tell them, you can always come back. The only thing you're not allowed to do and you cannot come back, lose my number, don't ever call me again. And when you leave here, you're going to leave me in handcuffs is if you hit me. That's it. That's my only boundary with clients. You cannot put your hands on me. And I've allowed clients to be angry. Like they will yell at me, come in my face, and I sit there and I tell them, you, all of that is allowed and it's welcome.
Leanne:
You just cannot put your hands on me. So they go to, I have clients go all the way to the limit. And I, when they leave, it's kind of like, I'll see you next week. Right. And I take them in, like. And in many ways that's something I offer. A lot of people wouldn't deal with that. So when she said that to me, I was like, that's okay.
Leanne:
Like, literally, if you want me to even refer you to somebody, I will. But she was committed to being upset with putting only because I, I identified something that she wasn't willing to. That helped her identify something she wasn't ready to deal with. Which is fine. She's not ready. And that's okay. But what I've done in the past is take that on as my responsibility. And it's not.
Leanne:
And I'm realizing that, like, I'm realizing that I don't have to take on the weight of what people put on me. Yeah. And that's okay. That's kind of where I am.
Amy Babish:
That is a, that is a huge, huge, huge, huge piece of medicine. Not just for you, but for so many people who listen. They have been projected on in all kinds of ways. I was just talking with another mentor yesterday and she's like, amy, I can't have people trauma dump on me. And so I think what you're speaking to, Leanne, and what I know to be true is like, people can bring all of themselves else. People can bring their whole systemic field, and we don't have to absorb it. We're not a sponge. When you're in right relationship with this kind of work, not for everybody, but for this kind of, like, healing work, you can welcome all of it.
Amy Babish:
And you have a sacred, invisible boundary where you're not absorbing it anymore, you're not taking it on, you're not picking up it. It's that alchemical process. Because when we as providers think that we have to be the everything for somebody or do it just like. Just like the way they want it, we're not McDonald's, they can't have it their way. Like, that's. That's, you know, it's like, that's. I love that I've said that in other episodes that in South Africa. I don't think you've heard me say this, but when I facilitated the retreat in South Africa, the field literally said, we can't keep on going back to the problem and recreating it to solve it.
Amy Babish:
And so what we're doing, this process and what you had, the, you know, what you modeled beautifully yesterday with your client was like, you can bring it here, but I'm. This is me. That is the. That is the pattern. And it's okay if she's not ready to pick it up yet. And that's her. So you didn't make her bad or wrong for not being willing either, which so many providers do. And you, you know, part of how we got to processing Sandy Hook was that you have sought help through so many different providers.
Amy Babish:
Please help me. And they're like, it's too big. I don't want to pick it up. So I didn't pick it up. And you didn't have to put like. You didn't have to, like, leave it. It was being alchemized through the process that when people want to know what the magic is, the magic is that when you're in. In this kind of seat, your seat or mine, I'm not forcing on you.
Amy Babish:
You're not forcing it on me. And the process is so potent that it will have a different kind of outcome. That is not power over power under that. So many people just keep on going back, rinse and repeat with a different provider. Rinse and repeat with, I'm going to leave something or quit something. Rinse and Repeat with. I never get what I need. Rinse and repeat with.
Amy Babish:
I'm projected on. So I feel like you're in this multi layered, very, very like, hall of mirrors experience of people. The clients are coming to you with what you needed and you're able to get it right back.
Leanne:
Like, you're able to say, like, okay, right, right, right. Yeah. And I love how you just even said what you just said right now. Because what, what is different and what feels different about this is like, there's a, an awareness that it's like when I, when I share, like, and I love that you said trauma dumping, right? Because even when I, when I listen to the podcast, right, there were parts I was like, oh my gosh. Because that's the feeling, right? Like, oh, I'm trauma dumping. And so I, I retreat because I was like, oh my gosh. I just, oh, I'm. I'm doing something to you, like, and your listeners.
Leanne:
And, and that's kind of what holds me back from, like, my own movement, right? Because it's like, well, too big for anybody to, to deal with, so I have to deal with it on my own and by myself. And, and so I'm seeking, like you said, like, seeking from. Could you hear, like, who is able to hold, hold it? Just hold space, not even hold it. I didn't, I didn't even want you to hold it, but just hold that, that, that space. For, for to to be witnessed, like, to be witnessed into, like, this. And, and, and we were talking about the recording. Did it stop recording? Did it not stop recording? You know, and, and you said we're just gonna trust because the field is so specific. And truly my field is really that specific.
Leanne:
Like, literally, if I'm saying something right now and it's not supposed to come out, like, the call would just end. Like, and, and I trust that I am so trusting of it right now that it's like, okay, that's exactly what it was supposed to happen. And I'm able to move forward, but I wouldn't have been able to do that if had I not trusted enough to be like, there's something bigger than me happening, and if I don't trust it, I'm gonna keep getting in the way of it, which is going to continue to delay this forward healing movement. So, like, in this place of like, I, I, I've come, like, completely helpless, like, where it's like, there's nowhere else to go. And, and I'm like, bottom, bottom, bottom. And I'm like, okay, something needs to happen and all of a sudden all of these things are happening. When I tell you how magical it's been, like, there's nothing. If I wake up in the morning and I say, oh, this was just like, it can't be real.
Leanne:
It's like, oh, you're just in this world of like, then that's when I need to be committed to a, to a hospital. Because it, there's just no way. When I decided to trust and just kind of. There's just no way that there's nothing like higher and above and like it's, there's no way that there's no other resource like another.
Amy Babish:
Yes. I mean people, people can say in many different names and it's not that, especially for those listening, but it's not about religion. It could be energy, it could, you can use, whatever, whatever your experience of that is. And a lot of people who come to me don't have a, they might have a sense of nature. They definitely oftentimes are not connected to ancestors. And you were, you were in this process, in this training together. You are connected to ancestors. And even with that connection to nature and ancestors, you still were in this like, really, really painful dead end.
Amy Babish:
I'm hitting this dead end. I keep on hitting this wall. So part of. I just had this conversation before we got on with another client and he.
Leanne:
Even faith, actually, yeah, he's a, he's.
Amy Babish:
A theologian, he's a modern day mystic and he was referred by another client who is a theologian. And I said to him, I said, because he had some, some miraculous things happen recently. And he said, if I would have told you at the beginning of a work, you're gonna, you're gonna live a miraculous life through our work together. I said, you never would have believed me. He came to me in a crisis and very painful and he had had a nervous breakdown and like very, very painful. And we don't start with, hey, trust yourself. Hey, there's miracles. That's, that's, that's not it.
Amy Babish:
And what I know to be true about this work is that if more people knew this was available, the world would be miraculously different.
Leanne:
Agreed.
Amy Babish:
And like everything, like, for those listening, they're like, what are the miracles? What is the magic? It is so profound, people almost wouldn't believe you. Right? So, and people talking about like, you're talking about birds. I have a lot of people in my community who are very connected to nature and signs and all kinds of things, but the, the totality and the wholeness and the complexity of how you're receiving this forward movement is like. So I want to say, it's so sacred. It's not. That's just Leanne's version. It's so sacred, it's almost too profound to share with words.
Leanne:
And, yeah.
Amy Babish:
This is. This is something that people think, oh, I need this to get this, or I need that to get this. Or, as your client was saying, like, I needed a different kind of therapy to get this. It's. In many wisdom traditions, they'll say, when the teacher is ready, the student will arrive. And they also say, when the student is ready, the teacher will arrive.
Leanne:
Yes.
Amy Babish:
And, like, you're saying you're not for everybody. I know for sure I'm not for everybody. This scares the pants off of people.
Leanne:
Yes.
Amy Babish:
And, you know, the. The forward movement, the healing, the alchemy, the transformation that is available from this kind of work, people's ancestors have prayed for their souls, have prayed for for lifetimes. And some people, it's not. It's just not this lifetime, not because they're not worthy. It's just their forward movement is not. It's where they're supposed to be. And so I have had a lot of grief in my system that I've worked through because I made such a massive pivot in my career where I was a traditional psychotherapist with this kind of, like, secondary identity of being a healer and an alchemist. And my nickname is Magic Amy.
Amy Babish:
And so I had closed behind doors all these kind of things. I was a embodied movement teacher for a long time. And, like, people would come be like, oh, you're just a dance teacher. I'm like, no, no, no, that's. That's important. But that's not just what I am. I would hold these retreats. I'd have all these things.
Amy Babish:
And then my soul really stood up and said, no more of this. You have to be one person. And I did it. I got consultation. I had a supervisor, I had a business coach at all these things. And it was really painful because just like your client who's like, you're not doing it right anymore. It was so much, so painful for a lot of people who were like, I need you to be this. You can't keep on evolving.
Amy Babish:
You can't keep on transforming. And I had to let go of. I can't be everything for everybody.
Leanne:
The.
Amy Babish:
Potentiality that I love for me, for. For you, for clients, the people that haven't come yet. I'm. I am not this bifurcated person anymore. And I feel that for You. That's. That's what. What's in the mix for you? Not that.
Leanne:
Not that you're going to disappoint people.
Amy Babish:
You're into this massive integration and wholeness that you have known was there the whole time, but you're remembering it and you're welcoming it and you're allowing it in a way that you. You just said a couple of minutes ago. I kept on putting my. Inserting myself in the middle of it. Like, you were. We don't want to say blocking, but you were inserting yourself in front of the forward movement. And now the space has been cleared, not just here in the physical 3D, but in the.
Leanne:
Powers. In a moment. But keep going, and you're breaking a little bit, which. Yeah, part of the movement.
Amy Babish:
It is. So I will say that we'll give. We'll give you some final moments, and then this might be our rap for this episode because we trust in the divine timing of. Of the power grid, of.
Leanne:
Of the.
Amy Babish:
It's not lost on me. Like, what's coming through is you're getting solar panels, and it's like, this is a solar return.
Leanne:
Yeah. Yeah. So, like. Yeah. And I'm also watching the time, too. It'll be interesting if it happens at 11. 11.
Amy Babish:
I know.
Leanne:
I saw that. Yeah, I'm watching it. And lately that. That's been very, like, maybe now that I said it, it might not happen that way, but I'm also very. I've been watching the time in that way because that's what has been happening for me in the last two weeks. It's wild. Yeah. I was gonna say, what kind of like in.
Leanne:
In. In. And I just turned now based on something that we did with the Soul Retrieval. I'm trying to arrange my bookshelf, and I turned, and a book title just was in my face. The Myth of Normal, you know, by Mate Gabor. And literally, like, we've been so conditioned to think that normal is to live this duality, good and evil. And. And.
Leanne:
But then there is, like, this question of, well, who determines what's good and who determines what's evil? And how do. How did we come. How did we come to that? And so for. That's the question that and I. And it's not like I'm seeking the specific answer to it. I'm just keeping my. My. My mind open to questioning, like, how the rules.
Leanne:
Like, who made the rules? Why did they make the rules? What was the purpose of the rule? And how does the rule affect my fullness? Because that's my intention to live in my fullness. And how does it either reinforce or like takes away from me living my fullness. So that's the question that I'm living with. And I might never fully know the answer to it, but the power is going and you can't make, you can't make this up. And so the forward movement is like, how can I stay questioning like, what is in deeply in my soul? Because some of it was conditioning to think in that way. But if I want to live in my fullness, if I want to identify my fullness and, and grasp it fully, then I have to, I have to stay in question and not accept and settle with, this is good and this is evil. How did we get here? And for me, it's not rebellion, it's more about wanting to know, like, my soul's acceptance or denial of like, what doesn't. What.
Leanne:
So I'm getting rid of. I think that came up in the soul retrieval too. I'm getting rid of what no longer serves me. And for me, that's, that's, that's profound. It can't be any other way. And because of that, because of that, leaning into, to the magic is happening.
Amy Babish:
Profoundly, profoundly. And here we are. Here we are. So, Leanne, thank you for joining for the second episode. Thank you to those of you who stayed with us either in this episode or on part two of three, part one and two of three. And if you are a seeker, if you are a student, if you are someone who says, I'm ready for something that I have no words for, I welcome you to reach out to me. I have a three session package of two hour sessions each and we can use them, kind of mix and match like we did with Leanne Constellation, Soul Retrieval, Constellation or whatever, whatever it is you need, it will be very clear to me. That's one of my superpowers.
Amy Babish:
So I welcome you to journey with me. I welcome with you to continue to listen, to share this podcast and I send you the infinite possibilities that are available when you step into your wholeness. Until we meet again. Thank you, Leanne. Thank you listeners and sending blessings from the Doeg land that I steward here and sending some much magic.
Amy Babish:
That's all for this episode of the Soulful Visionary podcast. If you found value in today's episode and are ready to delve deeper into aligning your inner world and environment, please subscribe to this podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Your subscription helps us to reach more soulful visionaries like yourself now.
Amy Babish:
And if you've been inspired by what.
Amy Babish:
You heard, I'd be incredibly grateful if you could leave a review. Your feedback not only helps others discover this podcast, but also guides me in creating content that truly resonates with you. I'll catch you in the next episode as we continue to unlock the love, purpose and fulfillment you deeply crave.